Ok, I LOVE the automated self check out at the grocery store. I like to take my few items to the little scale thingy, push all the right buttons on the touch screen and be on my way. No human interaction, no clerk to run my items too many times or throw my food at the bagger dude like they were going for the winning touchdown.

I like the solitude of the self check out. I like doing it myself with no bother about smiling at someone and making fake chatter to pass the time. Grocery shopping is not a social event, it’s grocery shopping.

But what do those people loving humans go and do? They put a person, a real live, breathing mammal standing there, just waiting to ruin my solitary experience.

I try to devert my eyes as I push my cart past the little people station, but sure enough, some smiling, friendly face cracks my little shell and says, “Thanks, come again.”…arrggghhhh The machine just thanked me and that’s all the personality I need when I’m buying toilet paper. You know I will come again, you see me here almost everyday. Let the computer do it’s job and treat me with the impersonal anonymity I deserve.

Thursday, June 12 2003